I remembered what Dostoevsky wrote: "Every decent man of our time is and must be a coward and a slave. That is his normal condtion." The next thing I knew i had dizzy spells. Insomina. Pains in my chest. Shortness of breath. Loss of appetite. Itchy skin. I lost five pounds in a week. Ten pounds in a month. When I pissed it burned. When I slept I had night sweats. I dreamt I saw a photograph of my father. What the hell does that mean? The psychic said I was clinging to false hope. Guilt. A happy situation in the past I wanted to go back to. Something isn't as it seems to be. Isn't that what photography is?
