Saturday, May 29, 2010


i had a calendar in the closet and

i'd look at it every day or so to see

where i was at,

to see how many days i had left before i'd get out.

i marked off the time with little

marks on the wall using a small pocket knife,

marking little notches in the wood,

in the wall so i could count the days and the nights.

my body was getting thnner and thinner.

i was losing weight.

i was getting fevers at night.

my shoes didnt fit me anymore.

the drugs were making my eyes blurry

and the money in my wallet

was turning into sand.

i had piles of sand in the drawers.

the bathroom mirror was full of sand.

my shoes wouldnt fit me.

my fingers were getting too big for my hands.

i had to wear gloves but the only ones

i could find were red.

my room was red.

everything was red.

i tried to call my doctor and get more meds.

i tried to get in the elevator and go

to the 6th floor and play the piano

but it wouldnt go that high.

i tried to climb the stairs but the doors wouldnt open.

nothing worked right.

the pills were making me dizzy.

i couldnt sit up.

my legs looked long and lean

and i thought about buying new blue jeans,

but thinking about it gave me a

headache and made my ears ring,

buzz, hiss.

it was really bad.